"Why are things turning out so different from what I expect?" "Can you let me finish my sentence first before you shut me off? If you don't plan to hear me out, please don't ask me for opinion." "You insist on your stand. What can I say?" "You have your mood; I have mine too."
But I do not want to argue or push my way through... the more I say, the more I find it meaningless and draining. The outcome is still the same. Nothing is going to change; neither can I influence to change it. I ask myself "is it very important? if the outcome really turn out different, will it affect me tremendously?"
Sometimes, tears can just well up. Thankfully resilient enough to hold it. Next moment, laughing and talking with people happily. Learning to control my emotion. I love the people. They are all very nice. They made me forget the bad feelings.
I pray for God to give me more patience. But thing didn't get any better. I'm like a conforming rebot. You say, I do. In fact, I can't be bothered. I don't want to pick an argument or try to prove my point. I know I may not be right always. Every time this happens, I ask God for more and more of patience. more and more and more... If I din do, I know I will break down.
Come to think of what has happened, God has actually answered my prayer. He gave me true patience by "testing my patience". My "tolerance threshold" has increased. I learn to see the consequences of my actions. If I do this, what will happen? If I don't do, what will then happen? I'm learning... sometimes the lessons are hard. I guess with difficulties come patience.
I'm very happy that weekends are coming! More happy occasions :) my cousin's wedding on Sat, able to see another cousin's newborn baby! (i hope my cussie will come though she may need to zuo jue)
that' me
*ah ni *God's child *a nine to six worker *an ISTJ *love green *kinder breuno~my fav chocolate *i may "stone", but i'm listening *love to sleep *slow to warm :)